Are You a Serious Lifter?

How many of these describe YOU?

1. If, on a job application, under “Previous Employment,” you’ve listed weight training and under “Hobbies” you’ve listed your actual previous employment.

2. If you’ve ever made yourself so sore that it either takes you a full minute to sit on the toilet or you have to fall down onto it.

3. If you’ve been banned from an all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant.

4. If you’ve ever broken a bone and tried to “train around it.”

5. If you’re buying a home and the first thing you look for is where your training equipment will go (not how big the kitchen is or if there’s a fire place or running water or anything like that).

6. If you’ve ever mentally calculated the protein content of a piece of your own birthday cake.

7. If you’d vote for Arnold Schwarzenegger regardless of his views, policies or even what he’s running for.

8. If everybody you know asks you to help them when they move because you can lift heavy things.

9. If Navy Seal training “looks like fun.”

10. If you’ve ever had to scratch your nose in the middle of a set and you’ve used the weight to scratch it.

11. If you’ve brought skinless chicken breasts to a rock concert instead of beer.

12. If you can remember your One Rep Max for 76 different exercises but you can’t remember your family and friends birthdays.

13. You’ve kept an old vitamin bottle for 12 years because it “brings back memories.”

14. If your fridge has more than 6 cartons of eggs in it at any given time.

15. If, when you travel, you pack an extra bag just for your supplements.

16. If your marriage vows include the words “for better or for worse or for pre-contest dieting.”

17. If your idea of a good leg workout is one where you work them so hard you can’t take two steps without falling down after a set.

18. If you use the squat rack more for squats than you do for barbell curls.

19. If your spotter is yelling “It’s all you!” and it actually is.

20. You do bicep curls with your grocery bags as you bring them in.

21. You mix tuna into your cereal to get more protein.

22. If you need to go to therapy if you miss two workouts in a row.

23. If the thought of lifting a car sounds perfectly reasonable to you.

24. If you’ve ever set a 20kg barbell plate on your lap and used it as a TV tray for eating dinner.

25. If you set your alarm to wake up in the middle of the night to drink a protein shake.

26. If you don’t even have to set your alarm anymore to wake up in the middle of the night to drink a protein shake.

27. If you’ve ever had to add extra weight to a machine because there’s just not enough weight on it for you.

28. You mix protein powder into your condiments.

29. If you’re regularly the very first, very last, or only person in your gym.

30. If you’ve laughed at any single one of the items in this article because it describes you perfectly.